Anglais

« Nous n’irons plus aux bois
Les lauriers sont coupés
La belle que voilà la laiss’rons nous danser »
 :
October, summer’s ending. Discovering school. I feel weird, I’m used to a more steady way of doing. For the very first time I have to draw. Luckily, Denis is there to help me.
In October, it’s a new sheet to turn, childhood’s sheet. I’m full of wishes and questions.
And now, what’s next ? That’s the greatest question, the one which hang me, my desire to go on.


« Entrez dans la danse, voyez comme on danse, Sautez, dansez, embrassez qui vous voudrez. » :

November. Join the dance. I slowly get used to the school. Lots of freedom. Maybe a bit too much. Pictures, sounds. Here, the standard is different, there is nobody staring at my work, there is only my work. My eyes grew more critical, too much. First on my own work, then on every kind of artistic work.
And now, what’s next ? The question seems more and more wide to me, now, I do not know my desires anymore.


« La belle que voilà la laiss’rons nous danser Et les lauriers du bois les laiss’rons nous faner » :

December. I need something else. This school is drying me up. And more, it’s winter. And more, I’m cold. And also, Denis left. We’re out of drawing teacher …
Video, sound. I like to work on this kind of things. But we miss time.
With my own research, exhibitions, history of Modern Art, my reading " Vie et Mort de l’Image" ( Régis Debray ), all of a sudden I realise that I do not trust Art, I do not believe in it. It’s a bit of an utopia, a kind of a fantasy, a bit like Freedom but surrounding by materials, professionals, schools to justify it.
And now, what’s next ? I don’t want to know. I just go ahead, looking down, to avoid to tell that I don’t know where I really go.


« Entrez dans la danse, voyez comme on danse, Sautez, dansez, embrassez qui vous voudrez. Non, chacune à son tour ira les ramasser » :

January, I’m just nowhere, without any kind of Modern Art mention. I’m working on techniques, searching for potentials. I do not believe in Art, however I love creation. I like to see, especially pictures. But even the word "Art" is stocked between my lips, I deny it, foolishly, obtusely ( I never talk about freedom, so do I with Art ). And I quit taking pictures. It’s sad, regrettable but it’s a fact. My position is quiet untenable, actually it’s not.
I do not want to go in the round, not here, however desires are still here.
I like music, I like words, that’s what I’m working on. Nothing more, have mercy, nothing more. I do not have the strength for it, do not have the lust. I’m working on what I like, I like what have been done. I’m going into moods, atmospheres, tributes. Most of all, I love dance. I’m not alone, escorted by friends, my musician, parents, I whish again.
And now, what’s next ?
My running line come back to me : Finally, why not …


« Si la cigale y dort, ne faut pas la blesser Entrez dans la danse, voyez comme on danse, Sautez, dansez, embrassez qui vous voudrez. » :

February. I feel better. Weather’s good. I’m dancing a lot, often in the street. I gaze at jewellery’s shops, discovering Saurel’s Workshop ( Cordelier’s Street, Aix en Provence, Jewellery, manufacturing, fixing ) The will to go into the round.
At school, everything’s fine. But it’s already a new world to me. I’m only working on techniques. I learn how to use my hands, those whom I trust so few. I appreciate engraving. I love mechanics, I love methods. I realise that I like craft more than art, because I do believe in it, because it’s beautiful.
And now, what’s next ? For now, I don’t know. This school is a window, I stopped looking through it with lust, I just open it, on something else.


« Le chant du rossignol la viendra réveiller Et aussi la fauvette avec son doux gosier Entrez dans la danse, voyez comme on danse, Sautez, dansez, embrassez qui vous voudrez. » :

March, the cicada (grasshopper) start to wake up, for real, awaked by the song of a nightingale. Bubbliness. I’m really into dance and music. I know I won’t keep on with the school next year. But I’m not sure about which way I going to choose. I make enquiries, I meet people, I chat.
And now, what’s next ? Well, then we’ll see, then we’ll see …


« Et Jeanne, la bergère, avec son blanc panier, Allant cueillir la fraise et la fleur d’églantier Entrez dans la danse, voyez comme on danse, Sautez, dansez, embrassez qui vous voudrez. » :

April. I’m into writing my dissertation. I do not intend to stay, there’s nothing to hurry about. I want to finish this year, to achieve it also.
I meet people. The most important encounter last three minutes. A women. A market. This person is a jeweller. She talks to me about her workshop, her job, restoration, creation, old jewellery she is fixing, gold, silver. I can not stay long but I’m like under a spell. I want to go in the round. I want to be a jeweller.
And now, what’s next ? Pass my exam, find a place to learn how to be a jeweller.


« Cigale, ma cigale, allons, il faut chanter Car les lauriers du bois sont déjà repoussés Entrez dans la danse, voyez comme on danse, Sautez, dansez, embrassez qui vous voudrez. » :

May. This month seems to run. I like painting, even if I’m not really gifted, I’m getting confident.
Yet, I think that’s what this school teach me and still, if I’m not going to keep on with it … I did learn to be self confident.